The Duke of Gook apparently makes housecalls

The incessant beeping was nothing less than merciless. I stared at the hideous light box that read 3 numbers. i saw them. i knew that these were nothing new, these were simple digits that i had seen before. what i didn't know was what the fuck this awful siren was trying to tell me. The noise threw me into a rage strangely shakespearean (i.e. "OUT, OUT DAMN SPOT!"). i began to beat the hell machine while questioning its validity. I must have struck a chord somewhere, for when i landed a blow it finally shut the fuck up. Again i slept.

It felt like noon when i woke up, but it turned out to be after that specific meridian. i was again awoken rudely, but after my last altercation, i was ready for it. the phone was ringing, of this i was sure. it took me a minute to realize that beating the phone would not work, but alas, i should answer it. this turned out to be in my best interest, because on the other line, was a man i knew quite well. it was my friend the prime minister, who had called to say he was in town for "a spell, and just wanted to know what you want me to pick you up from arby's on my way over to your place." my response was the typical "what the fuck do they sell at arby's?!"